“If you say too much too fast, it puts the person off. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
But if you start with something that’s not too personal and then gradually move to personal, both are comfortable and it develops a great deal of closeness.
But do the questions bring people closer together, and keep them close? “There’s been not much study of long term impact, most of our studies have looked at the effect in the lab.
Do you ever have a hard time accepting No when you want something? i.e., they think others are attacking them when in fact they are not. Do you ever have a sense of being a failure as a person? Rationale: Does the person have emotional self-awareness?
Rationale: Is s/he entitled, disrespectful or needy? If you weren’t doing the job you’re doing now, what would you like to do? Rationale: Is s/he erratic, dysregulated or impulsive-in-a-bad-way? Do you feel confident about your ability to solve everyday problems that come up? Without emotional self-awareness, people can’t easily communicate when they need caring, and that tends to cause problems in relationships. To make an awesome relationship even better, these are great resources for giving your relationship a tune-up.
That way it keeps me open-minded and he’s allowed to change, grow, evolve, and maybe even surprise me sometimes.
:) Use these questions in conjunction with a date night (24 Date Night Ideas for $10 or Less) or when you’re just emptying out the dishwasher together.
Arthur Aron, professor of psychology at the State University of New York, is now famous for developing 36 questions that bring people closer together - most recently brought into the limelight by an iconic New York Times In 1967, Arthur Aron found two profound things: love, and the basis of his life’s work.“When I was in graduate school, in social psychology, the culture back then was to look for a topic that people don’t think can be studied scientifically - and do it,” Arthur Aron told .
But what if falling in love is actually a recipe - where all you need is one partner, three dozen questions, and four uninterrupted minutes of looking deeply into each other’s eyes?
Basically fast-tracking the whole “get to know you” period.
Then, the questions are followed up with a four-minute eye-to-eye stare down.
It all starts by asking each other a series of 36 questions (The 36 Questions That Lead to Love).
The questions start out broad and then one-by-one get increasingly more intimate.
So I said, ‘there’s my topic’.” Thirty years later, the Arons published the results of their study’s “closeness-generating procedure”, or what we now know as the 36 questions that lead to love.