I know that he's a proud person and would want to figure these things out on his own, but I want to be there for him.
One of his issues is that nobody was there for him when he got into his accident, that left him with very little motor skills for the first few months.
At the same time, he believes that I would leave him now that so many symptoms have surfaced over a short period. I just came from a 3 hour visit with an ex gf (current dear friend). We talk for hours without ever running out of things to discuss, whereas with most others, i find conversation to become broken and intolerable. Even before we 'knew' about my tbi, she was a very compassionate soul.
I told him I'm not going anywhere, that we'll work through this together, but at the time, all he wanted to do was to be left alone. The difference with her (and a very few others i know) is that she is very emotionally mature. I have to search for wording (which takes time) and sometimes say things that are potentially inappropriate. Most people don't have their emotional world in order and will often 'react' to what is said. Like anyone, we don't want to offend, but we also struggle to express.
Obviously, this hurts me, but I'm trying to understand his condition and separate him from his brain injury when he tells me he wants to hide away from me. I tried to talk to him about it, but he was cold and closed off to me.
Again, he struggles with the need to hole up and sink into nothingness. The day before he told me that he loved me more than anything in this world.
In some ways I don't want to treat him like he's any different because communication is important.
What's the most effective way to communicate with somebody with TBI?
He's battling with stress coming from school and from a special case of helping another loved one with TBI who suffers from short term memory loss and has the tendency to get violent and verbally abusive towards him.
I feel that he should let her family take over the care of her, but he's adamant that they aren't providing enough, so it's up to him to see her through this ordeal even though it's causing him harm.
We have this amazing connection and quickly fell in love with each other. Since then he's had the tendency to close up and have the urge to run away.
He's frustrated with the idea that he can't be the person he once was.
With the information given, going forward, would it be best to abstain from any discussions of concern just so that it wouldn't set him off?