Maybe you think your kids won’t lie to you, or disobey you, or sneak around and doing things behind your back, but I have been parenting long enough to know that they will. He never quite seemed to understand what he was doing wrong.To my credit, I didn’t once say, “Dump that drama queen! Not just in boyfriend/girlfriend situations, but in all friendships.You wouldn’t let your teenager drive without some instruction, view this as relationship instructions.
You should have lots of boys as friends at your age.” The little girl sighed and said, “I know, but when I am 14, I will be old enough to date.” Somewhat surprised by the comment, the mother asked her daughter what you do on a date. Have you ever had a discussion with your teen about the purpose of dating or what you do on a date?
With no hesitation, the daughter said, “You have sex.” With all kinds of thoughts reeling through her head, the mother asked, “Where did you hear that? In an informal survey of teens, many of them stated that they have never had a conversation with their parents about dating other than curfew and expectations concerning drinking and driving.
” The stakes at this younger age don’t seem as high. It was much easier to help him realize that this girl was not really acting like a friend, which is the keypart of the word girl- A girlfriend or boyfriend should first and foremost be a friend. We may think our kids are perfect, but they are just learning to navigate this world and we need to remind them to be a kind and trustworthy friend and to expect the same. This is the one that I feel is the most important for our children to learn.
They should treat you the way a friend would treat you. They are laying out the blueprint for the path their future relationships will take.
In this day and age, when teens are receiving mixed messages from many directions about relationships, having parents who are willing to engage in a discussion about dating smarts is definitely a plus.
In his book, , Sean Covey defines for teens the difference in intelligent dating and brainless dating.“Intelligent dating is dating successfully, being selective about who you date, hanging out and having fun, remaining steady through the natural highs and lows of romance, and keeping your own standards.
These classes teach adolescents to recognize important factors in healthy relationships and, hopefully, make thoughtful decisions about their relationships before entering into marriage.
To find out more information about relationship skills classes for teens visit Julie Baumgardner is the Executive Director of First Things First, an organization dedicated to strengthening marriages and families through education, collaboration and mobilization.
By Julie Baumgardner A young mom was talking with her 8-year-old daughter about her day at school when the daughter revealed she had a boyfriend.
Mom, in her infinite wisdom said, “You are really too young to have a boyfriend.
Decide what is off limits and don’t let anyone change your mind. Teaching teens dating basics early on can save then a lot of heartache.