So I began to really focus on figuring out what mattered and what didn't.
Though I had always paid lip service to the "It takes a village" idea, it turned out that, while there might have been some "village" people out there, we had been too wrapped up in our own lives to get to know them. I was driving through a bad snowstorm with my little boys. I decided to check in every night with another single mom.
Then I made a conscious effort to invite friends over for dinner, ask a neighbor to help me move my couch, and chat with the other moms at drop-off.
When my kids and I first moved into our own place, it soon started to resemble a really nice frat house.
We'd stay up late watching videos and fall asleep in my bed. Without another grown-up in the house, I realized that it was easier to slide down to my children's level than lift them up to mine.
Gary Neuman, Parents advisor and author of Helping Your Child Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way.
When my divorce was new, talking with my ex was painful.We were angry at each other, and, let's face it, looking for ways to hurt each other.But no matter how right I felt I was, deep down in my heart I knew: Being in constant fight mode was horrible for my kids, and it was making me even more miserable.Try for a pleasant and courteous tone even if you don't feel that way.It's easy to fake it electronically."It's absolutely critical that you take the high road and don't bad-mouth your ex in front of the kids," says Susan Bartell, Psy D, author of Mommy or Daddy: Whose Side Am I On?Whatever his flaws, your kids love their dad with all their heart.