The work needed is usually in the area of developing a better tolerance for love and intimacy by clearing out whatever fears and blocks the guy has in the way.Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.Anyway, the married man like his supposed competition is afraid of a deeper intimacy as well. His willingness to live in a limited marital relationship thinly disguises this fear of deeper love and intimacy.
In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.
Personally, I think most if not all married people know on some level if a spouse is cheating, but that’s just my belief.
Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because triangles usually end up hurting people more than anything else.
Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.
The problem is you can’t get a piece of what you need from one person and another piece from someone else and expect to have a stable and satisfying love-life. What you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.
So let’s look at the type of triangle that has one woman and two men in it.Usually at the beginning of such an arrangement, when the triangle is young so to speak, the ‘other man’ usually tells himself he likes this arrangement because he doesn’t have to make a commitment.She can go back to her husband when we’re done making love, right? The problem comes in when over time an attachment forms between the married woman and her ‘other man.’ Now she is growing used to the arrangement and has convinced herself that the triangle makes her disappointing marriage tolerable.If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.