I receive many emails from people complaining that their partner still relates to their ex boyfriend or girlfriend.To make matters worse they report that their partner keeps photos of the ex or communicates with them via Facebook, Twitter or Email.Often you’ll find that the reason it bothers you is because you have taken his actions as some sort of reflection on you and the past you shared together.
He still has his ex’s photos and refuses to remove them. He says that he doesn’t have any feeling about her or her pictures but these photos have to be saved because they are his memories and remind him of his past.
He also mentions that I will never see them but maybe, after 20 years or so, we will check them together and laugh.
If someone is fully committed to their romantic partner why not be understanding of their feelings about this?
Secret or not, maintaining contact with a former lover dilutes or takes energy and focus away from the present relationship.
A factor that increases the damage that is done to a couple is the fact that this activity is kept secret.
Most often, the lover comes across photos, emails and Facebook activity by accident.And yes, some people’s recovery rate is quick and just have to deal with it!Whilst you don’t need to do a cartwheel, true closure and the ability to leave your ex in the past, means that we need to either find a way to be happy for them regardless of who they’re with, or just not care.In other words, this is a distraction that serves no good purpose.A secure and trusting romantic relationship rests upon a foundation of trust. If keeping these things is so innocent then why keep them secret?