The experience of going to Fet Life for the first time is one that conjures feelings of clandestine thrills to be done in the cover of night; the red splash of hot red on a black backdrop is evocative of the same sensational covers of the Twilight series, meant to evoke illicit temptation.
The image on the left of the landing page randomly refreshes to show users enjoying various states of BDSM.
Given the variety of terminology used and the subtle differences in meaning implied by all of these terms, how does one leverage online dating tools to find like-minded folks?
Do these tools even offer non-traditional relationship filtering options at all?
We met all of our regular partners through OKCupid and followed a more-or-less ‘traditional’ dating pattern with most of them.” I found that any success with the platform begun with a period of research and sifting through questions to build a match percentage that didn’t attempt to lump polyamorous intentions in with the much-stigmatized “casual sex”-seeking crowd.
And despite efforts to “hack” the matching algorithms, the common experience is that true intentions have to be spelled out in profile text, that the keyword-searching algorithm coupled with insufficient filtering options resulted in a whole lot more effort than seemed necessary if self-identifying options were simply more inclusive.
” immediately sets the tone that these goals are at odds with one another; the Choose Your Own Adventure paths may, it seems, never converge into something resembling a more polyamorous path.
The term “nonmonagamous” is perhaps less readily recognized alongside “open,” “swinging,” “polyamory” and others expressing intent to have intimate relations outside of the structure of traditional pair-bonding.The whole spectrum of sexuality and gender identity is welcome - queer, straight, bi, gay, lesbian, pansexual, asexual, cisgender, genderqueer, gender fluid, transgender, IS, and anyone else we may have left out (let us know if we did! Here are a few places that will get you started: Disclaimer section: Please be respectful of other members, this group is not about finding other people to date, but about just being polyamorous / ethically non-monogamous in a community of other people who are accepting, or at least curious, about the same.It is not acceptable to solicit other people to join your poly-cule (in person or electronically). We are more than happy for friendships to spring up and for people who do discover connections in a healthy, respectful way and mutually choose to build on that (hey, life happens! There are plenty of dating sites out there, there are even other meetup groups about the same, if that is your need.The problems with e Harmony are multifold and immediately evident; you must first immediately identify via traditional notions of the gender binary, something that couldn’t be a clearer signal to poly-identified folk who also, often, identify as genderqueer.But that aside, you’re simply not allowed to proceed honestly through the profile creation process if you are married, a clear indicator from e Harmony that your business isn’t welcome if you’re poly and that someone who is married should not be dating.The same respondent concludes, really emphasizing the need for certainty before sending a message, “As a ‘bisexual’ woman I get enough messages from unicorn hunters (straight man, curious woman, want somebody for ‘night of pleasure’ with no necessary connection beyond that) that I don’t want to make someone feel that way.” Clearly, though, there is a fine line between some specificity and too much specificity, because a Google search reveals multiple dating sites that distinctly brand themselves as being for polyamorous daters.